Olympian

super funny day today. i went to the Students' Union to collect my FOC Camp photos. then i said my name for the dude to give me my order.

Me: Davio.

then out of no where this person says "Davio, nice name(i've heard this a thousand times, thanks anyway)"

later she goes on about reading my name on someone's blog. i asked her if it was mine, she asked if an Olympian left a comment. so i asked her how she found that blog, she searched for FOC Camp and stumbled upon that blog.

Me thinking "woah, who wrote about me? i'm going to fucking find that person and it better be good otherwise somebody's gonna get a hurt real bad."

ran back up to CASSC clubhouse and borrowed dawn's laptop to search for the mystery person. used google. typed FOC camp. none positive websites, couldn't be bothered to search beyond page 3. so typed FOC camp davio and the only positive blog was my own.

clicked it and checked the comments at the end, there was an olympian who was there! so it was me. dang. she was kinda cute la. not that i stand any chance. i'm 163cm and 90kg. no singapore girls. only china, vietnam, filipino and indonesia, basically those that can be bough at $5000. eh, i'm not cheap, at least i'm willing to pay for one.

Cr4Pp!e

Bruised and Battered Palms.

hi. i'm still alive. today's dragon boat training was tough. campus run made me feel a little dizzy. and i'm always the last few to finish campus run. i'm sick of it. i don't want to be last few. i can't find the reason why too. oh wait.

i'm 1.63m and 90kg. now i know why.

the bottom end of my palms are bruised and battered. because of the push ups. we did 80 push ups. then some people came late so we had to wait(in push up position) for them to finish then carry on. then we carried on to 100. but they were not counted as we owe them(seniors) 100 push ups from last week.

then we did 40 push ups and forgot what happened, we had to start back from 0. then did till 50. so we did a total of 190 push ups before campus run.

each time i go for dragon boat training, i want to quit. but then the training pushes me so much that i want more. and the after effect is the best. priceless.

Cr4Pp!e

Blogs

the other day, my younger sister told me that she liked this blogger "BotakGorrilla". it went something like this.

Sis: i like this blogger called botakgorrilla.

Me: why?

Sis: cause he is funny.

i then went to his blog through xiaxue's he is weili by the way. the second the page loads up, this happens.

Me: you like him because he is cute la!

Sis: he is funny la.

reads some of his entries, felt that they weren't as funny as Bubblemunche.

Me: he is not that funny la, you like him because he is cute.

Sis: he is funny la.

Me: then my entries not funny meh?

Sis: funny, i like his blog because got a lot of pictures.

changes her reason. bloody liar. just because he is cute, she likes him. got a lot of pictures, mostly him la. thats why she likes him his blog.

Reader: You also what! You read some people's blogs because they are hott pretty.

now, that is a lie, because female blog "celebrities" blogs that i visit, most of them, i haven't seen their faces because they are camera shy, like me. basically, i visit Little Miss Drinkalot and Finicky Feline and Xiaxue mostly. i've only seen Xiaxue's face, who wouldn't? if you've been to her blog, there is a big sizable picture of her.

i'll be going for Outward Bound's Interaction Camp this weekend, so if i don't post, it is because i can't, not because i'm dead.

hmmm, interaction. please don't get the wrong idea. it means talking and playing games(clean ones). by the way, this post is typed during a tutorial. i am so rebellious. aH-Ha!

Cr4Pp!e

The Difference Dragon Boat Can Make

dragon boat training today was off the hook. ran like mad dogs. we just ran and ran. i swear that the entire distance i ran in 5 years in secondary schoool, is either slightly more or same as the distance that i ran today.

i ran so much that each time i drank water, i felt like puking and at times, my mouth and tongue were so dry that whenever i licked my lips, my tongue felt like a dry cloth. damn was it shagging tiring.

anyway, training was a killer. but then, i realised the difference when people know that i joined dragon boat.

in sports camp, there was this guy who treated me dung. he looked upon me like a piece of shit. i mean, most guys do that to me cause i look like a piece of crap anyway. but then this guy, after finding out that i joined dragon boat, he made some small talk with me.

on other occasions, we would walk past each other and we would not even say hi. aH-Ha.

P.S. i don't even know that guy's name, cause i did not bother introducing myself to him or ask for his name.

P.P.S he knows my name. aH-Ha.

Cr4Pp!e

Being A Fat Boy

a sms conversation went on between my younger sister and i today. it went something like this.

Sis: kor kor(elder brother in chineses), come home watch manhunt with me.

Me: am i gay?

Sis: they have nicer chests than you(i don't have chests, i have breasts, man-tits) well toned body and nice abs.

Me: eat my shit.

Sis: unless your shit is pink and strawberry flavoured(no dirty thoughts please), i'll continue to keep buggin you.

Me: eat my shit.

Sis: Whatever. i'll enjoy the show myself and leave you to your inevitable fate(what inevitable fate?) :)

Me: what inevitable fate?

Sis: check the dictionary hehehe.

Me: wat inevitable fate?(was just wondering what else she got up her sleeve)

Sis: No la. i just sprouting nonsense.

Me: ai ya, just say la, wat is my fate?

Sis: i saying that every person's fate cannot be changed.

Me: what is my fate?

Sis: How i know haha

Me: just say la.

Sis: i really dunno. How i know your fate?

Me: just say la.

here comes the punch line, the ultimate joke/scarcasm/mockery to me that is.

Sis: hahaha.. Got one guy look like you.

what the F***? a guy from Manhunt, looks like me. a short, fat and ugly dude teenager.
let me tell you what will happen in 7 or 8 years time.

i will be either 25 or 26 years old. i will be financially independent. still living with my parents. i will definitely be in china/vietnam/indonesia/malaysia/whatever country looking for a bride. i told you before that the only way i get married is through a fixed marriage. well, though i'll be looking for a bride, it is still a fixed marriage because i give her parents or whoever money then they give me her. so it is fixed. no money back guarantee. i can't return her.

a guy like me, who is fat, i'm 90kg now and still at 1.63m, how can i possibly look like a guy who is on Manhunt. further more, i know that i'll need a fixed marriage to get married. so you can say it to my face or aloud, i don't mind, i face facts and respect the truth.

fat boys like me don't get girls. we live in misery everyday. i have to run like a mad dog to chase buses. then i pespire like a pig and get ostracised because of the stench odour emit. when i'm the last one to enter a lift, the overload sign will always appear then i step out and a fit skinny guy steps in and it is fine.

so i walk up to my class and because i pespire so easily, i get ostracised again because of the odour. asides being get ostracised, i often get laughed at too. people only remember my name when they need me to do something like sit on a suitcase or compare who is fatter.

Cr4Pp!e

Exciting

Hey Peeps! today was, exciting.

first off, my Oral Communication group was selected to present in the lecture theatre with like 100 over people. i was going crazy. damn nervous. cause, the day before, i presented to my class and was staring at my notes the whole time. could not remember the facts.

today, well, i think it pulled it off rather well. for those from new town, remember last year when i went up and made fun of Mr Lau, today, it was something like that. i remembered more facts today too.

anyway, my group's project is about rabbits and i learnt something about rabbits. they are coprophagous. in layman's terms, they eat their shit. EAT THEIR SHIT! rabbits eat their shit. i am never going to touch a rabbit again.

today was my first dragon boat training after i got well, recap, i was sick unwell for 2 weeks and the doctor wanted me to rest for 2 weeks thus missing 2 weeks worth of training(dragon boat and canoe polo).

so training was damn tiring for me today. my calves kept cramping. and it is no joke. it is bloody painful. especially when it is both legs.

it was something like this, calves cramp, friends help stretch, stand up, cramp again. repeat this for about 3 times. bloody painful and embarrasing sia. i'm on the ground screaming moaning in pain then everyone else is standing up and looking like the training was easy peasy.

to top it all, deviana from new town, tells me that today's training was damn slack. Na-Beh. girl can tahan the training and look like it was easy peasy. then me(a guy) gets cramps and look like he ran around singapore.

Cr4Pp!e

Hate Me For Who I Am

today, my classmate dropped her laptop. her ACER laptop. the thing about it was, only a small part of the casing came off. the laptop is still working fine. her ACER laptop survived a fall. i wonder if the mac can survive a fall. haha.

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females, from teenagers to early 20s, want to be tanned and dark. to get that sporty look. then after they pass this phase, they want to be fair. like white. to look more feminine. then they complain that their skin is damaged because of the sun blah blah blah.

males, from teenagers to early 20s, build up their body to get that fab bod. hoping to attract the opposite sex. only to find out that all they(women) want is someone they can rely on.

for the first 2 weeks of poly, i bothered to wear jeans and dressed nicely. but then i decided fuck it. i'm going to be who i am. i hate to lie to myself. i'm just simple plain dumb jimbo. nothing more, nothing less.

what is the point of looking so nice when inside your just a piece of crap. when your nothing inside but just an insecure jabroni? be who you are. why be afraid of this world? why be afraid of what people will think of who you really are? your living for yourself.

i have this saying "Do not love me for who i am not but hate me for who i am ."

Read about the following candidates and decide who you want as your president.

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C

He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

moral of the story, don't judge someone too soon.

i love hitler anyway.

Cr4Pp!e

The Last 3 Years Did Not Prepare Me For Poly

i feel so cheated. so deceived. so mislead. so tricked. damn it. an act of fraud has been commited and i'm the victim. however, i don't know who is the culprit. suspects have been indentified. the police called in. the CIA, FBI and the Secret Services are also itching to join the action.

i shall tell you my sob story. do cry because it is sob sad. tissues not provided.

my whole life, junior colleges have been known as the place where people drop out because of stress, work and blah. then poly is the alternative from that evil place, poly was known to be an oasis. where people go there and be happy. where there is no stress. where school was fun.

studying in the poly was said to be relaxed, enjoyable and fun. in my honest opinion, i thought it would be more relaxed than secondary school cause i felt a little stressed at times. my last 3 years of secondary school was without homework, projects and self-studying except when exams were near.

then i happily entered Ngee Ann Poly. school of business, Accountancy. thinking that it was easy mathematics, i slacked for the first 2 weeks, sleeping in lectures. oh, come on, how tough can the mathematics be in Accountancy. then the sad truth came, it wasn't totally about mathematics.

mathematics is like less than 10%. the deception. i had to learn rules like this and this goes under debit and this and this goes under credit. Na-Beh. so the first 2 weeks that i missed, i had to start from the beginning. read up on whatever i missed. so, Accountancy is not all about mathematics.(Lesson No.1)

then there were tutorials. i thought you waltz into the class then the tutors give a few questions and go through them. Na-Beh(2). after each lecture, you need to do your tutorials first then the tutors will go through them. now there is homework! HOMEWORK! i did not have homework for the last 3 years in secondary school. now i have homework! tons of it! (Lesson No.2)

with tutorials, come projects. PROJECTS! like get together(meetings) and discuss about nonsense. which means working with people and again, for the last 3 years in secondary school, there were no P*******. i dislike working with people. seriously. i'm the kind that do projects the day before it needs to be handed up. i don't like working with people because chances are, they can't be lazier than me. i'm lazy. i don't like tidying up my room because logic tells me it'll get messy again. P*******. 2 now.(Lesson No.3)

my classmates. boy do i love them so much. for the last 3 years in secondary school, it was the all for 1 and 1 for all situation. 1 don't do homework, all don't do. nobody does homework anyway. with my new found classmates, they ALL do HOMEWORK! leaving me to be the odd one out and frankly speaking, i'm running out of excuses to tell the tutors. they don't sleep during lectures. we normally sit in the first few rows. they listen to the lecturer as though their reciting beautiful poetry. my classmates are HARDWORKING and so do i need to be.(Lesson No.4)

i've got this feeling that i need to change. i need to be like my classmates. but then, when i be like them, i lose my individuality, my style and my laziness. damn. guess i really need to change and forget about the last 3 years in secondary school.

argh! the deception.

Cr4Pp!e

Reading Blogs.

ok. it is 2.42am now. i'm still up, been reading blog posts that i missed. if you see your link on my blog, chances are, i read your blog posts. unless you happen to be the Big Fuck whose posts don't interest me at all.

not surprising at all, i haven't been able to read all. i read very slowly. but it is time to sleep. so i'm going to carry on reading in the morning and maybe blog a little bit more. my bed beckons.

Cr4Pp!e

Things I've Learnt

i can't believe it. ever since i stopped taking the medicine, i got better. aH-Ha! i'm going to study for a few hours soon but a quick update on what i've learnt in the poly.

1. i've learnt how to pee with 1 hand holding my laptop.(it is a very difficult task for some one who is as fat as me)

2. Medical Certificates are useless in poly.(unlike secondary school, where they are oh so useful)

3. wearing slippers to school(poly) will not result in a $50 fine.(liars!)

4. sleeping in lectures is fine, the lecturer doesn't care.

5. talking in lectures might cause the lecturer to be "agitated".

let quote an example, during a recent Microeconomics lecture, there was this bunch of people who kept talking like they were in a "christmas party". the lecturer(a male) then pointed at them(i thought he was going to yell his head off at them) and said in a most polite and calm manner asking them to keep quiet(what the fuck? italian way).

6. not doing homework makes you become the minority.(unlike secondary school where doing homework makes you become the minority)

7. they promote e-learning but not everything is on the net for us to download.(found out yesterday when i did not have a particular worksheet)

8. skipping lectures is fine provided you have nice friends who would tap the scanner for you.

9. join any cca in the poly and you can be sure that the earliest you leave school is 9pm.

10. finally, i've learnt that flam is spelled as phlegm.(not from the poly but from fireandwater, thanks)

Cr4Pp!e

Jer again/Poly life.

hey guys! thank you for all concern. i'm getting better. yeah. i can feel it. the flam phlegm is clearing up. my mucus is also clearing up. my coughs are getting less violent and lesser. having fever occasionally but my body is fighting well. by the way, i stopped taking the medicine 3 days ago. so yeah, three cheers for my immune system.

yesterday, i was in the music room enjoying the air-con. turned on my laptop and logged on to MSN. jerk jer messages and asks me to go to the atrium and slack with him. i asked him what time he was leaving, he says about 6pm then the time was 4:45pm.

i guessed it was "safe" to go and slack with him since he was leaving an hour later. walked 200m to the atrium under the blazing. the atrium was bloody warm. kept sweating pespiring. should have just stayed in the music room.

then 15 mins later, jerk jer leaves for touch rugby. Na-B*h. so i adjourned back to the music room. air-con. arrrhhhhhhhh. can't live without it.

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poly life is hectic, shitty and stressful.(but still nice. haha)

from sec 3 to sec 5, i've never had homework. then in poly, i've got tons of tutorials to do. suddenly my life is so busy(with homework). then i made the big mistake of slacking(sleeping) in the first week cause for each lecture, 1 chapter is completed. then i'm bloody clueless on everything now.

my classmates have been rather helpful too. in the lecture theatres, i/i'm was the only one sleeping. tutorials, i'm the only in my class who did not do homework. strangely, the tutors have been rather forgiving. haha. now, i'm trying to catch up. it seems like i'm 2 months behind my classmates already.

this week, i missed 2 days of school and i feel that i'm 2 weeks behind my classmates. even though i have a medical certificate for both days, i'm still marked absent and if i miss 3 lectures or 3 tutorials of a particular module, i'm barred from the exam hence failure even if i've got medical certificates for all days.

life is so bloody tough in the poly. i think i'm going to flunk out of ngee ann poly and be a farmer.

P.S. though i'm getting better, i'm still not well enough to sit at my laptop and study the whole day(i planned that for today).

Cr4Pp!e

Recount On How I Became Unwell

hey craplings!(i've decided to call people who read my blog craplings) been awhile since i've blog and my crapings have been irregular compared to my crapings 2 to 3 times a day when this first started.

well, poly life is much more hectic and troublesome. write about this some other time.

i'm sick unwell/not feeling well.(whatever that makes you happy) saw the doctor yesterday(literally). she gave me 2 days mc when i asked for 1 and gave me 2 weeks off of physical activity. which means no dragonboat training and canoe polo training. i'm still going for lifeguard trainings as the earlier i finish that, the earlier i can see babes save lives.

my flam and mucus is dark green. drinking water hurts. anyway, allow me to recount how i got sick.

went for db(dragon boat) training on tuesday. drank lots of water during and after training then went to KAP(king albert park) Macdonalds with db seniors and ate fries and ice-cream. went home ate yam cake that my dad bought.

went for cp(canoe polo) training on wednesday. drank less water as i left my light saber(bottle) in my bag. during training, felt that my throat was very dry. instantaneously blamed the fries and ice-cream i had yesterday. lesson not learnt. went to KAP Mac with cp seniors where i had a quater poundle meal upsized.

went for db training on thursday, throat started to become sore. started having flam. drinking water started to hurt. skipped Mac and went home to eat chicken rice(my dad bought it for me). lesson still not learnt, poured the whole packet of chilli onto the chicken rice.

things worsen until i saw a doctor yesterday(monday). now i'm feeling a bit drowsy so i'm going to sleep.

Cr4Pp!e

Provocation - The Torment

i shall now give you the details of the provocation by jer(jerk) and his pal yuxin. basically, they are both mac users and i am a bloody windows user.

so if you put 2 mac users and a windows user together, you get provocation by the mac users as the windows user is outnumbered and mac users will jump at any chance to provoke a windows user whenever they outnumber the windows user.

the idiot that i am, took out my acer(windows operating system) and switched it on in front of jer and his pal yuxin. windows being a super lag operating system, took awhile to load. obviously, the mac users jump at the opportunity to humiliate me.

one of the mac users: haven't load finish windows yet ar?

me: yeah.

mac user(jackass): i load windows now, see who load faster.

for those who do not know, apple computers, can load windows operating system too but they first need to load their own mac operating system. obviously they loaded their mac operating system much faster than i did my windows. and when that jackass guy started loading windows on his mac, i was surprised that it loaded faster than me.

then later i asked "eh? how come your mac like never lag 1?"

jackass mac user "mac never lags. huh? your windows lag ar ?"

on top of all this, the apple computer has f9 to f12 functions in which it can minimise all windows, darken the background, maximise a certain window and do this.



Dashboard, it has widgets.

the casing is "solid" as in when you carry it, you don't need to worry about it falling apart. i get that feeling whenever i'm carrying my acer with one hand.

here is a picture of the box that the powerbook came in.

the microsoft word for mac and power point for mac is 10 times nicer and better than the windows version.

take my advice, buy a mac. windows really suck. i would love a mac too but i've got no money.

P.S. Sponsors? Tai-tais? Sugar mummies? Rich girls? feel free to drop me an email.

Cr4Pp!e