good bye Crapings Of The Crapster for awhile.

i've just realised this, i'm screwed up, seriously screwed up. my life is so screwed up that i think that my parents were planning on screwing me up while screwing.

looking at my life just makes me feel sad about myself. i'm a complete screw upee(person who is screwed up).

life sucks seriously. if i tell you i'm fine, i'm lying.

good bye Crapings Of The Crapster for awhile.

i need to do something about my life.

14 Ways To Lose A Girl's Heart

Message: 14 ways to win a girls heart *so sweet
*
Message:

1. Hugs from behind.
2. Grab her hand when y'all walk next to
each other.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around
her.
4. Cuddle with her.
5. Don't force her to do anything.
6. Write little notes.
7. Compliment her HONESTLY.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your
arms as
long as possible.
9. Be super sweet to her
10. Pick her over ur friends. No matter
what! Even if your friends call u pussy
whipped.
11. Comfort her when she cries.
12. Love her with all your heart.
13. Pick her up and flirt with her.
14. Be a gentleman (hold the door for
her).

GIRLS - repost this if u think its sweet

GUYS - repost this if u would do any of it


....by opening this [chainmail] u have
been given
bad luck 4 2 months, but if u repost this
bulletin the bad luck will turn into good
luck.
title it 14 ways to win a girls heart...aite

hi... to anyone who is reading tis...
~take care~

i saw this piece of SHIT and decided that something needs to be done. hence this edit.

Message: 14 ways to lose a girls heart *all true
*
Message:

1. Hugs from behind.(be prepared to be sued for molest)

2. Grab her hand when your walk next to
each other.(again, be prepared to be sued for molest)

3. When standing, wrap your arms around
her.(what for? stop her from breathing? again, be prepared to be sued for molest)

4. Cuddle with her.(provided there is a bed but chances are your a geek and a girl will never be in bed with one)

5. Don't force her to do anything.(if your a sissy that is)

6. Write little notes.(what for? she'll lose them anyway, remember how she is always late? she forgets the time duh~)

7. Compliment her HONESTLY.(honestly? to compliment would be to lie and girls hate guys to lie, irony)

8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.(trying to suffocate the girl? again, be prepared to be sued for outrage of modesty)

9. Be super sweet to her.(which means to lie and be her slave. what happened to Britney's I'm A Slave For You? it should be the other way round.)

10. Pick her over ur friends. No matter what! Even if your friends call u pussy whipped.(now this is major bullshit. you don't even want to know.)

11. Comfort her when she cries.(where is her best friend? you got your own shit to do. why listen to her half sobs when you can be doing something else?)

12. Love her with all your heart.(you might as well kill yourself first)

13. Pick her up and flirt with her.(now thats what you need to do)

14. Be a gentleman (if you want to end up as her best friend).

GIRLS - repost this if u think its false

GUYS - repost this if u would not do any of it


by opening this MAGICAL, MARVELOUS and [insert random big word] you have been bless by the CUPID who safeguards all the love in the world.

nice right? too bad friendster says there are some material that is unsuitable.

Cr4Pp!e

One Tree Hill Season 3 Episode 3

Mouth: Hey coach(refering to Whitey), erm could i ask you one more question? Off the record.

Coach(Whitey) nodds his head.

Mouth: How do you deal with losing someone you love?

Coach(Whitey) hesitates for a few seconds then says "Shut the door son, pull up a chair."

That is what i need to know.

My Younger Sister

my younger sister laughed so hard just now that she peed in her shorts. a few drops according to her.

What Is It

about life guards that is so attractive? is it the yellow shirt? red shorts? cool sunglasses? hot bod? flair? i don't know. maybe someone can let me know?

by the way, i'm not attracted to any female life guard if your thinking that.

I Have

fever and sore throat. can't be bothered to read anything so i'm going to watch some toilet fart humour/mind rotting movies. deuce bigalow european nonsense and freddy got analed staring tom green.

I Don't Trust My Bladder

ok, lets do a recap of what happened the past few days, i've been working, today is the third day being a life guard. earning $6.50 an hour do virtually nothing except walking around and acting like doing my job. i love this job, first, the pay is good compared to asswipe ass waitering at genghis khan. i get to shower before and after not needing to bring my own towel and toiletries. i work alone means not needing to have mindless chatter with anyone.

the only downside of the job is that there are virtually no babes unless you consider chunky old women and sometimes it gets really boring that i start talking to the swimming board that i'm supposed to save people with. by the way, her name is shark-fin, the board that is. we covered lots of stuff today, strangely, her views all same as mine. i think that she is my twin or something.

i think i need to get a pda or something alike, when your alone for so many hours, it is good to write. taking a book and pen out is not a good idea because one would think that i'm not doing my job which i am doing and taking it very seriously.

anyway, a few days back, my elder sister was complaining to my mother about how much time she had left to do finish her essay, my mother would then reply with her casual answer "pray and ask the Lord to help you."(we all heard that line ga-zillion times) to which my sister ignores and walks into the toilet, deciding to take a page out of my mother's book.

me: trust in the Lord with all your heart(being interrupted here, my sister in the toilet with the door half close and i'm OUTSIDE)

sis: but i don't trust my bladder now.(closes the door quickly)

so now, there is a new saying in my house, if one wants to go to the LOO(just mocking all those whose surnames are toilet) one would say the magic words "I don't trust my bladder."

Jeremy Is The Fucking Genius Boy

he found this site about girls that is so FUCKING true.

excerpt

"44. Drawing up elaborate lists detailing their "ideal" man, including in them qualities such as "sensitive", "thoughtful", "caring" and "good listener" (ie They want a "nice guy") and exchanging them with other similarly emotionally disturbed girls, then falling head over heels in love with the first jerk, alpha male or lying bastard (ie The antithesis) who comes along"

go see everything yourself, here.

i fell for no.44 and so did many other guys. FUCK. glad i realised it.

Sponsor Me A Video Cam?

somehow, i find it really strange. i've been too lazy to blog. maybe life's been well for me thus no blog therapy needed. maybe, maybe.

my elder sister have the same sentiments as me about selling our family antics. with the really cool and hip dad, ever sleeping beauty mom(her average day begins with her getting out of bed at 1pm and no she is not an alcoholic), easily stressed and very disorganised elder sister, extremely irritating brother who gets on everyone's nerves and the lovable younger sister who sometimes is the accomplice to the brother's antics.

seriously, i think we have a comedy coming, provided i writes our stories and send it to mediacorp. who will most probably ignore it and call it nonsense because i don't have a diploma or degree in mass com because singapore is a paper society.

then i send it to Fox who will then accept it wholeheartedly and give me a primetime slot. i am so dreaming. but seriously, i would love to have my own show either a comedy-drama or toilet fart humour(jackass) or maybe both.

and guess what is name of the comedy drama? Dysfunctional. my elder sister says it is wrong to describe our family as dyfunctional because dyfunctional means that a family does not communicate but in actual fact, we talk a lot thus the humour.

just this morning, my elder sister acted as a three year old. going from her room to my mother's(who was still in bed) room screaming"ARHHHH!! the computer restarted then it is gone!" up and down she went. the way she screamed was like a 3 year old girl telling her mother that her brother peed on her doll.

if i could post a video showing it, i would then you can fully understand what happened. sponsor me a video cam please?

Laid Back

this is strange but then, i've just realisd that i've got a thing for girls with shoulder length hair and/or with high foreheads. it doesn't put anything in perspective but what the heck.

anyway, at the back of my mind, there is this voice saying that i shouldn't have quit dragonboat and there is another voice saying that i joined canoe 6 months too late.

on monday, went for canoe polo training. i realised that those guys already had 6 months of training then there was this part where some of us were in the kayaks and we did ball passing. i could barely control my boat and pass the ball.

then there were this bunch, actually 3 guys "praising" me for my "great" ball passing and all that because i did that to one of them but to tell the truth, i really see that guy that way, to me, he is the best year 1. in fact, whatever they said, it was the total opposite. they "praised" me sky high but in fact, i'm core deep(sounds stupid to a geographer but what the heck). just one day of ball passing and my right shoulder is hurting.

quitting dragonboat to join canoe, was it worth it? right now, whenever dragonboaters see me, they see a quitter. i can simply say whatever and act like nothing's bothering me. but in fact, i do care. each time i see any dragonboaters, i feel like i owe them something.

to catch up 6 months of training that those guys(canoe) had, might be a tall order but if i put my mind to it and do my best, i might be able to make it. but then, i'm afraid, ever put all you had into something but it turned out the other way? experienced that twice and it is enough.

it is not a matter of pride or anything like that, i have no pride. to fight for something is not my nature. i've always been laid back, if losing doesn't mean losing much, i'll rather lose. i'm not used to fight for a position or anything like that.

i know this, if i get that position, someone else doesn't thus that someone will be sad about not getting it. i rather be the one that is sad and let someone else be happy. thus i've learnt that to love someone means even if that person isn't by your side, you should be happy for her and if that person isn't happy with you, you should let her leave.

i have half a mind to quit canoe and just stay with dance at least then, i don't need to fight for a position because there are only 3 guys. even if i don't get one, it is fine with me because i'm laid back.

maybe because i'm so laid back that i need to have someone by my side for me to spur and do well for her.

another thing i can't stand is when someone insults me in the face, even if it was meant to be a joke, the least you could do was smile. when the president asked for club fund, i took out the only note in my wallet, a $50 note. when everyone saw what i had done(because the bigger amount you took out means you can pay for your fellow friends too), they all shouted stupid and said somethings, i'm cool with that, even when mako pushed me and said i was dumb to do that, i was cool because mako jokes with me sometimes.

then this jabroni asswipe look me squared in the face and said something along the lines "stupid, your stupid you know." second training, so cut me some slack. if you want to insult me, the least you can do is smile and make it seem a joke even if it wasn't.

why do i get so riled up over some jackass? dang, i'm losing my cool.

Disgusting Lip/My Room

alo. shan't say the obvious(i haven't blog for a while). Ooppss.

came back from canps golf with a few cuts due to my superhero duties or rather wanna act hero duties. we were at kallang's singapore canoe federation waiting to wash the kayaks when someone accidentally threw a volleyball into the kallang river.

ethan was about to swim and take back the ball when i stopped him and told him i would go instead.

me: where you going?

ethan: go down and take the ball loh.(pointing to the ball)

me: i go.

i walked slowly(to build up the tension) kinda like those action shows where the hero(heroine does not exist in my dictionary, aH-Ha!) walks slowly then swiftly kicks ass. anyway, i walked slowly, took off my shirt and dived into the unknown waters.

MISTAKE!!!!

i've been trained never to dive in murky or unknown waters reason being you don't know the dangers that lurk, i was supposed to either straddle jump or slide in.

anyway, my dive was very shallow and i had to continue the heroic displays. aH-Ha! while i was swimming towards the ball, weed or something came onto my face, i brushed the thing off casually.

got the ball, started to swim back when i knew i cut my leg because i kicked something sharp. threw the ball up, basket, not high enough, swam closer, threw again, my heroic act is done. when i swam back to the jetty, i was feeling damn weak, could not climb up by myself, ethan had to help me.

except for a few cuts on my right leg, i was alright. first things first i did not know that a girl accidentally threw the ball, all that was on my mind was to retreive the ball. when i got back up, there wasn't a single word of thanks. basket. i should have just been lazy. FUCK.

woke up next morning with a severly dried and swollen lower lip. i then realised that i cut my lip while saving the ball and the wound got infected, there was yellow pus or something ugly. it is disgusting and viewer discretion is advised. here is a picture if you would like to see.

on a lighter side of things, i'm going to show you my room. here it is during the day time.





reader: OMG! you play the guitar? you are so freaking cool. i love you.

me: nah, i know one song though, switchfoot - meant to live.

reader: asswipe! cheat my feelings.

here it is during the night.





nice? i designed everything myself, obviously. the different colours in my room represents the different feelings i can feel. colours affect our feelings, if your room is entirely blue, chances are, you might be feelings sad most of the time.

my bed has 4 pillows and 2 bolsters. aH-Ha! with that combination, i can sleep in any direction comfortably. by the way, the 4 pillows cost slightly above $100.

when my room was first done, my younger sister said it looked like a porn studio.



maybe she is right. anyway, i'm going to re-arrange stuff soon hence the pictures.

have a nice day.