"Sexy" cousins/Missing Trunks

Sat(16/4) woke up before 9.30am as usual. if you don't know why, you must definitely read this. then i slack and slack until 2+pm, left for swimming lifeguard lessons(i get a kick out of saying it). a lot of people look at me and say "Wah LAU! you like that can become lifeguard? then i like that become Mr. Universe."

i know i'm fat/obese/oversized and i'm cutting down snacks and exercising more, i'm going to the gym later. sadly, my weight is increasing, the other day i realised that i was 85kg. arh? exercise and eat less also put on weigh. maybe i'm the type that by smelling food also can grow fat.

after lifeguard lessons, went straight home, granny's birthday later. get this straight, i hate these kind of dinners. one dish after another. normally i get stomach ache after eating the shark fin soup. i prefer a plate of chicken rice or char kway teow or whatever.

so for the rest of the dinner, i spend my time feeding this cute adorable little girl.



that is my cousin. SHE IS MY COUSIN! i'm NOT lying. i know i'm fat and ugly but i promise you she is my cousin. maybe all the good genes went the wrong other way.

i don't understand why she can be fat and adorable and i can't.

anyway, this cousin of mine, is very shy or rather not talkative. very uncommon trait in my maternal side. especially among the little ones, talking nonsense is second nature or is it mine?

well, after i fed her(i help her scoop the food into her spoon and she fed herself, sometimes i get to put the food into her mouth), i sang to her my tone/rhythm/pitch-wrong version of "Doe, a deer, a female deer....." , "Doe, Ray, Mi, Far, Soh, La, Ti, Doe" and "Doe Mi Mi, Mi Soh Soh, Ray Far Far, La Ti Ti"

she stared at me like some nutcase. then i asked her to sing to which she sang "Doe Mi Mi." and i asked her to continue but she refused. i think she was shy. she started blabbering all sorts of things. aH-Ha! she is talkative!

i whipped out my elder sister's camera(the same one that took the shit pictures), took some pictures and i managed to get her to do the Sexy Blogger Pose~



awwww, so sexy cute adorable! for those of you who think it is sexy, you FUCKING paedophile.

i got her 2 eldersisters to do the Sexy Blogger Pose~ too.



my aunt is a lecturer at ngee ann poly(the poly i'm going) and she was amazed that i was going there. then she mentioned that in the business courses, girls outnumbered guys by a lot, i told them that i had no idea at all, none at all. they were not buying it. damn.

and according to Mr Clubber,Vernon, this batch has loads of pretty girls. OH HELL YEAH! Ooppss, did i say it out loud? i meant, ok, so what?

after the dinner, went home and prepared my stuff for my lifeguard* lessons. i could not find my (swimming)trunks. to which i came to a conclusion that i left it at the swimming pool(toilet).

so unlucky. lost my trunks and goggles in the same month.

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Sun(17/8), went for lifeguard lessons at 8.30am and saw that there were 2 girls joining the class. did not get a chance to see cause they belong to another class. but i heard the guys saying that their bods are nice. can't wait for this coming sunday. but i don't stand a chance anyway. argh.

in the evening, my mom found my trunks in the washing machine. i knew it, i knew it. i said "in my entire god forsaken life, i've never lost my wallet, handphone, keys, ic."

Mom : yes, right right right.

P.S. the author really doesn't know that business courses have a lot of girls.

P.P.S. the author apologises that he likes girls.

Cr4Pp!e