The Great Durai

It took me 2 hours to write this piece of crap. you better appreciate it or another hand, i'm a fatass/fatty/fatso so you can tell me to fuck off about this kind of stupid crap.

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Dear Mr Durai,
I am very sad to read about your resignation from NKF. I am also depressed that many people called asshole cheat liar fucker chao ah-neh bastard money-faced you defaming names.

I am deeply aggrieved and furious at those remarks being thrown at you. I believe that you are a good ah-neh indian man. $500,000 a year is very little compared to the funds you manage, i believe that an extra zero should be added and you should be earning $5million a year instead.

Mrs whore Goh(Senior Minister Mr Goh Chok Thong Tong's wife) said this "For a person who runs a million-dollar charitable organisation, S$600,000 is peanuts as [NKF] has a few hundred millions in reserves." Precisely! NKF has so much money, why should they stop at giving a $600,000 thousand a year? Besides the gold tap, they should gold-plate his entire restroom or better yet his entire office. The government is collecting billions in taxes and have hundreds of billions in reserve too, so I think it is only right for the Ministers to be paid millions and be given cars and gold-plated taps. Please, MM Lee, pay your gin nahs ministers more.

The cars and drivers that NKF has is too little. Nobody likes to be in a car filled with people, everyone wants privacy. For example, the board of directors each have 2 children and provided they are not divorced. So if there are a total of 9 directors and 1 Mr Durai, there would be a total of 4 times 10 equals 40 people to ferry to the special functions.(surely you want to include the little spoiled brats lovable children) 40 people means 40 cars because snobbish rich people cannot stand have more than 2 persons in a car. The driver is definitely counted as 1 person(although it is not a high-flying job, it is still a job and the driver has to be counted as a person) which leaves room for only 1 snobbish rich person.

The 8 cars that NKF have are too little. They need to have at least 40 otherwise their drivers have to make extra trips.

Excuse me Sir, I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, but flying business class or first class, isn't it beneath you? The NKF has so much in reserve, surely they can buy you a jet or better yet a Boeing 747. You can be in charge of the design, with LCD screens and big ass speakers together with DVD players and Sony Playstation. Like the rappers on MTV who have so much money to spare that they can spend like no tomorrow and if they run out of dough money they just make another album with their useless talents.

Likewise, you should do the same and spend all the money away, if you spent all the money, just bullshit and say that NKF bought some machinery and instead of lying saying that there are 1,000 patients more, say there are 10,000 more. Or your can have Charity shows every weekend and instead of getting artistes who are being paid money love to perform for charity, get the patients themselves, won't it invoke much more public sympathy?

Get little kids to hog orchard road every weekend for donations then give them CIP(Cockernarden Involvement Program) points. Since it is compulsory to complete the 6 CIP hours, what better charity organisation than NKF? Instead of 6hours, increase it so that every alternate weekend they will be at orchard road asking for donations. If orchard road gets crowded, send them to Causeway Point, Jurong Point and Tampines Mall. Spread the love of charity everywhere.

Imagine what you can do with all those money. Dang. I wished my dad was like you, able to cheat swindle utilise the public's donations for your own good then he can buy me a $50,000 bride instead of $5,000. You, The Great Durai, certainly paved a way for poor Singaporeans like me. In 10 years time, I will be CEO of Nation Breast Foundation and National Cock Penis Foundation. The goal of NBF and NPF, is to help people who think that their breasts or penis is small.

We will compare them(breasts and penises) to grapes and pencils to show that actually, your's are quite big. We need plenty of money because our grapes are top quality from the U.S. just like the lettuces at The Atrium in Ngee Ann Poly.

Me: can i have more vegetables?

Lady Bitch: did you pay more?

Me: how much more?

Bitch: $2.

Me: oh.

Bitch : cannot la, our vegetables very expensive, from U.S. how about i give you more vegetables and less meat?

Me: ok.(vegetables are non-fattening)

Bitch: i give you a bigger piece of vegetable.(Na-Beh the Piece is not even bigger, it is the same size and she really did give me less meat)

P.S. i did not want to write about the NKF drama until i had this idea about the Great Durex Durai.

Cr4Pp!e